Cynicallous

A light, airy, effervescent, blog of grave consequence. (NOT!) Dedicated to those of us who must respond to negative stimuli by Chernobyling (entombing in concrete) our innermost thoughts.

Name:
Location: Slaughter, Louisiana, United States

A semi-gruntled corporate reliability engineer trying to make ends meet while keeping my wife happy, and myself out of the asylum.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Sooooo......

Who's going to be the first to defend Kerry by saying at least he didn't leave a girl underwater to drown and then give a press conference about it?

I'm John Kerry and I approved this speech...

Whew. You've probably all heard about Kerry's latest debacle. In a speech yesterday he was recorded saying, "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

Now, on its face that is spectacularly insulting to the entire US military. I don't think that is actually what he meant.

My guess, and I am not one to give any commie the benefit of any doubt, but my guess is that he was really trying to make a tasteless joke about W rather than equate our military to a bunch of dunces.

I really think that he was attempting to use Bush's "Ignorance" and his own "Affluence" to demonstrate that W is an idiot and is responsible for getting this country mired in Iraq. Unfortunately he left one very important word out of the quip. He should have said, "And if you don't, you get US stuck in Iraq."

Maybe Kerry should bone up on his grammar before he attempts to make any more lame jokes about other people's ignorance in public.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Be it ever so expensive, there's no place like home, (for the food.)

For some odd reason, lately I've been craving, of all things, clamcakes.

If you didn't grow up in New England, I'd wager you haven't a clue what I'm referring to. They are, by my account, one of the best foods on earth.

I remember a little floating stand (Literally, it was ON Beech Pond.)that we would go to when I was probably no older than ten. We'd pick up a dozen or two of the fried treats and they'd disappear nearly before we got them home for Ma'Tante.

I've got to find a recipe for them. I'd bet they'd go over HUGE down here if I substituted crawfish.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

The CRAPs arrived!

My WOOT! craps that I ordered came in early last week. It was an interesting mix of stuff to say the least. I received a small backpack type camera bag. (Moderately useful.) A Kensington USB micro-mouse. (Using it right now on the laptop.) Two thumb-drive combination locks. (Candidate for Worst Woot! ever.) and a package of 4 glue traps. (For real rodents, not the computer kind.) (Also being used as I type.)

Not too bad for $8.

Now THAT's good eatin'..

No beaks -n- claws here.

They've finally discovered something to go along with that fried twinkie and snickers bar.

Fried Coca-Cola.

I can feel my arteries plugging just thinking about it.

Friday, October 27, 2006

eBay. Internet International Relations....

Unbelievable. It never ceases to amaze me what people will purchase with eBay.

I had a 12 quart case of 10W30 Amsoil Synthetic motor oil left over after my truck was totalled. The replacement truck takes 5W30 so I figured, what the hell, lets see who'll bite on the internet.

It sold.

For $76.00.

Plus shipping. (The case weighs 25#.)

To a dude in Ripollet, SPAIN!

The shipping cost him another $40 and will probably take upwards of 6 weeks to arrive.

Also, given that it took 45 minutes of phone calls and book searches to determine if it was even OK to ship motor oil overseas, (They don't ship internationally all that often from Slaughter, Louisiana I guess.), I was able to read a bit ot the International Mail Manual. I found out that it is unacceptable to ship PLAYING CARDS to Spain.

Whodathunkit?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Pretension, anyone?

I've just heard a radio commercial for Microsoft's latest Internet Explorer. (Version 7). It's about a 15 second spot that has a choir (the quality of which is about equal to the one that sings on the Rolling Stones "Can't always get what you want") singing the word AMEN twice while a slightly breathy british woman says something to the effect of, "Microsoft Internet Explorer 7. It's here! Thank goodness!"

Good grief.

FireFox to the rescue.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Yeah, we're really offended....

I've been listening to WCBS 880 out of New York on the internet today. They are telling a story about a political ad that is "offensive" to Italians. Here's a link.

The funny part is they keep playing the ad about every 15 minutes.I guess when a "conservative" PAC puts out a marginal ad, it's OK to hammer the offensive material home ad nauseum. (Maybe if it included pictures of people falling from the Trade Centers they'd not show it.) Personally, I like the ad.

Gay Marriage, Democrats gift to Republicans

Seemingly unswayed by the fact that all the ludicrous coverage of the gay marriage debate in 2004 probably gave the election to W, the democrats are about to try to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

New Jersey's supreme court will be ruling in a short while about whether to allow gay marriage to be legalized in the state. Perfect.

That will guarantee that every republican in America will hold his nose and vote to prove once again that the country should not be ruled by judicial fiat. Maybe we'll have a supermajority if they keep this silliness up.

Monday, October 23, 2006

"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time..."

New Milford, CT man killed by shrapnel from exploding beer keg.

Guess they shouldn't have put it in the fire...

I'll bet they don't get their deposit back either.

Friday, October 20, 2006

And I thought Wisconsin had some creative criminals...

Yesterday in New Orleans, police were led to a house containing the cooked remains of a young woman after they found a note in the pocket of her boyfriend. Said note was discovered after said boyfriend had splattered his way down from a local hotel's 7 story roof. Said boyfriend strangled the girl after an argument, said he in the note, molested the corpse repeatedly, then dismembered and cooked it. The entire ridiculous story can be found here.

Nothing is more ridiculous than the fact that these two idiots were profiled significantly in the media during the Katrina coverage last year. Somehow, I'll bet this is W's fault too.

Oh, and here is my nomination for understatement of the milennium. From the couple's landlord after he had opened the apartment to allow the cops to find the gory mess, "He may have in retrospect seemed a little troubled."

No shit, Sherlock.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Cool

Looks like posting from my mobile phone is working again. Hopefully it'll stay decent for a little longer than last time.

Text 2

New test.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Test

Test

This just in from the overreaction department...

The FAA has eliminated the uncontrolled airspace over the Hudson River in New york because of last weeks' idiotic crash of Yankee's pitching talent. (And I don't mean in Detroit.)

Anyway, this morning there was a three BUS pileup in Pennsylvania on the interstate. I think the NTSB should ban all school buses from I-279 for the foreseeable future.

Monday, October 16, 2006

John Kerry, call your publicist...

Flip-Flop backlash beginning?

All I know is unless Lucchese had made them out of Full-Quill Ostrich, I wouldn't have worn them anyway....

Sunday, October 15, 2006

LSU 49 - Kentucky 0

Some friends of the wife's invited us to tailgate with them and attend the LSU football game yesterday. Actually had an excellent time and LSU even won. Doesn't get too much better than that.

Friday, October 13, 2006

WOOT!

I got my first bags of crap!

This makes no sense unless you understand the genius of WOOT!

Great Castro Joke

I saw this on another site and have to share it.

On a recent visit to Cuba, Vladimir Putin found that most Cubans' shoes have holes in them, and so he asked Fidel, "Oye chico, how is this possible after 40 years of 'progress'?"

Annoyed, Fidel answers, "And what about Russia? Have you done any better?"

Putin says, "Ombe, When you want I'll invite you to Russia and if you find a single person with ripped-up shoes you have permission to kill him. No problems."

They got on Putin's plane and went to Russia. As soon as Fidel got off the plane, the first thing he saw was someone whose shoes were all ripped up, and so he grabbed his pistol and BOOM! killed him.

The following day, Russian newspapers carried this banner headline: "Old Bearded Man Kills Cuban Ambassador in Moscow Airport."

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Man, Imagine if they hadn't made the post-season at all...

Yankee's pitcher Cory Lidle's plane was the one that splattered into the building in New York. He seems to have been on board.

Steinbrenner must REALLY be a bitch.

Fire's out.

At least it looks like there won't be any serious issues with the building.

Can you imagine having to run up the stairs in a 50 story building on fire that was hit by a plane?

It takes something special to be a fireman.

An Accident.

Riiiiiight.

A plane just happened to accidently be cruising around over Manhattan at an altitude of oh, 200 FEET?!

Looking at the fireball in the building, the plane wasn't too large, but it seemed to have a fair bit of fuel on it.

Hopefully, no one was home when it hit.

Been A While...

I'm going to start updating this thing again now that life has sort-of returned to normal. But I can't help but note that today is 10/11. And a plane just hit a high-rise building in New York city about 5 miles from the Trade Center site. Hmmmmm.