Cynicallous

A light, airy, effervescent, blog of grave consequence. (NOT!) Dedicated to those of us who must respond to negative stimuli by Chernobyling (entombing in concrete) our innermost thoughts.

Name:
Location: Slaughter, Louisiana, United States

A semi-gruntled corporate reliability engineer trying to make ends meet while keeping my wife happy, and myself out of the asylum.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Dale Jarrett does not need to be driving THIS truck.

This is a UPS tracking summary for a tiny electrical part that was ordered on August 25, 2005. Four days prior to the first hurricane making landfall.

I've inverted the order to make it easier to read.

August 25, 2005
8:17PM Fort Worth, TX Origin Scan
8:48PM US Billing Information Received
9:51PM Fort Worth, TX Departure Scan
10:51PM Mesquite, TX Arrival Scan

August 26, 2005
5:09AM Mesquite, TX Departure Scan
1:59PM Jackson, MS Arrival Scan
2:55PM Jackson, MS Departure Scan
6:25PM NEW ORLEANS, LA Arrival Scan

We interrupt this delivery to bring you the never-ending entertainment provided by the Louisiana and feddle gummints as they trip over themselves to pander to uninsured minorities while hating them.

August 29, 2005
2:00AM Jackson, MS A Natural Disaster Caused This Delay
2:00AM Jackson, MS Adverse Weather Conditions Caused This Delay
2:00AM Jackson, MS Adverse Weather Conditions Caused This Delay

After a shrimp boat re-supplying an oil rig snagged the package out of the Gulf of Mexico, we now return you to your regularly scheduled delivery.

September 20, 2005
3:08PM Mesquite, TX Arrival Scan
11:12PM Mesquite, TX Departure Scan

We interrupt this delivery for yet another hurricane related splash-down. This time, the roads are so clogged with nerds escaping from exploding tour-busses that we can't leave the terminal.

September 29, 2005
7:30PM Arlington, TX Departure Scan
7:57PM Fort Worth, TX Arrival Scan
10:00PM Fort Worth, TX Adverse Weather Conditions Caused This Delay
10:15PM Fort Worth, TX Adverse Weather Conditions Caused This Delay

We now return you to your regularly scheduled delivery.

September 30, 2005
11:42AM Fort Worth, TX Departure Scan
7:26PM Jackson, MS Arrival Scan

October 3, 2005
2:15AM Jackson, MS Departure Scan
6:09AM Baton Rouge, LA Arrival Scan
7:27AM Baton Rouge, LA Out For Delivery
12:08PM Baton Rouge, LA ALL MERCHANDISE DISCARDED. UPS WILL NOTIFY THE SENDER WITH DETAILS OF THE DAMAGE.

After all that, we decided you didn't really want the package in the first place. Good luck sucka!!

(I may have added the italics, but everything else is right off the UPS site.)

Cute, huh? The funny part is the package was actually delivered and in good shape on 10/3. Not sure why they said it was trashed.

Mental note: Check the weather when placing orderes for delivery to the gulf states.

Thanks again to Tom H.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is too funny! Thanks, that was my big laugh of the day!

1:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be sure to warn the residents of the Gulf Coast next time I order something!

Tom H.

7:23 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home