Cell phones

On our recent trip to Texas I noticed something. Everyone, everywhere has a cellular phone and uses it constantly and loudly. It's as if there is a contest to see whici idiot can drown out all the other idiots. My personal favorites are the people who have little cutesie ear pieces and walk down the aisle looking for all the world like a schizophrenic mumbling to himself.

I learned a lot about several of the clients of a salesman who, judging by the accent, was from Philadelphia and who also had a bad experienc with the contractor he was swearing at who screwed something up when he installed a set of stairs at his house. (For Christ's sake, do it yourself, buddy.) A lawyer seated behind us seemed competent in his preparation of a witness for trial the next day, but he was pretty insulting to his wife when she called. Recently the feds have been debating allowing cell phones to be used DURING flights. I think I'll stop flying if that happens. The last thing I need is four hours of subway-style din when I'm trying to sleep.

I've gotten rid of all of our phones save one. My wife carries it for emergencies like if the car breaks down or one of the kids has an accident, but the damned things have become utterly useless to me.

However did anyone born before 1985 survive childhood without being constantly connected to the wireless web? I remember when you actually had to keep your shirt tucked in at school and there were no calculators allowed in class, never-freakin' mind portable electronic communication devices.

Maybe I can blame Columbine and the hysteria surrounding a bunch of Ritalin-addled teenagers who finally snapped once the speed fried their brains. Or maybe the phones used on the four doomed flights of 9/11 are the cause of this excessive need for contact.

I also seem to remember that women used to complain that their boyfriends were too controlling when they kept asking where they were. Now these same women won't turn their phones off for fear of being out of reach?

I'm 33 years old and I'm actually waxing nostalgic for the "Good-'Ol-Days". This can't be an overly positive sign.