Cynicallous

A light, airy, effervescent, blog of grave consequence. (NOT!) Dedicated to those of us who must respond to negative stimuli by Chernobyling (entombing in concrete) our innermost thoughts.

Name:
Location: Slaughter, Louisiana, United States

A semi-gruntled corporate reliability engineer trying to make ends meet while keeping my wife happy, and myself out of the asylum.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Anyone else notice....

that Kentucky Fried Chicken is using Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" in their latest commercials?

Thursday, July 28, 2005

This is great

The July 11 post pretty much says it all.

I did not know that Michael Jackson was an Asian woman.

Story here.

Porn on C-Span?

What the hell was on C-Span last night when I surfed through? Three guys sitting at a table answering questions and pointing out lesions on a giant flesh colored phallus?

Actually, it was a NASA press conference discussing the space shuttle's external fuel tank. That was quite the model they were displaying.....

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Trying to learn something new...

I've never been able to touch type. I read about the Dvorak keyboard layout today and have set about learning to use it properly. It's trying, so my fingers keep going to the old spots. I'll get it but it's going to take time. Here's a link if you're interested.

What next..

Heard this morning that several states are trying to make it OK for people of non-christian backgrounds to swear on what-the-hell-ever book makes them fell good if they are being deposed in a courtroom.

What is Tom "No, Really, I'm not nuts." Cruise going to use when he divorces this latest imbecile in a few years? A copy of Dianetics, maybe?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Do you think the title will remain 'chairperson'?

University of Washington appoints male to head Department of Women's Studies.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Maybe if you smothered them in sorghum?

Teaser headline for this article:

"Study: Cats Can't Taste Sweet"

Friday, July 22, 2005

Lots going on..

Not much time to post. When things calm down in a few weeks, I'll hopefully put it all up here.

Wow. That's it, again?

Four more attempted bombings and all you caused was an asthma attack?

Hear, hear, Sui-psychos. Hear, Hear.

Now one of the three cops in London that actually is allowed to pack heat manages to splatter one of your compatriot's brain against the wall in a subway station?

Your record is not getting better. Sounds like it's almost time for "Open Season".

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

More Airport silliness

Had a business trip this week on United out of BDL to ATW.

I noticed something a little strange. At all of the United gates I was exposed to, there is a machine at the gate door that when you place you ticket in one end, it automatically cuts off and ejects your boarding pass at the other end for you to take onto the plane.

I assume that the intent was to eliminate a person having to man the gate during boarding.

Problem was, all of the machines were attended by an employee who took your ticket and fed it into the large, expensive machine for you, and then handed you your boarding pass stub after the machine spit it out. At one of the gates, the attendant actually tore off the stub like old times and then fed the remainder of the ticket into the machine. I guess the average American traveller is too stupid to figure out how to properly operate the machine so they had to re-staff the position.

Guess they should've done a few more focus groups prior to roll-out. No wonder United is going under. Do these people work for GM as well?

Friday, July 08, 2005

Is that the best you can do?

Less than 100 dead? C'mon you pussies. That is a pretty weak showing. Osama can't be too happy about that. I bet you're going to wish you'd had the bomb's strapped to yourselves after he gets through with ya.

Take a lesson from the Japanese of WWII. Commit hari-kari in private to atone for that miserable showing.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Here's a conspiracy theory for ya....

Improbable that Rudy Giuliani was in London right down the street from the blasts this morning, No?

Where was he on March 11 last year? Madrid? I don't know, but I think it merits checking....

This is some way to build a resume for the White House....

Anybody else hoping

that the remnants of one of the suicide bombers in London can be proven to have been detained at Guantanamo Bay?

Maybe that would help explain its necessity?

Just for numeracy,

The UK will have to lose 725 people in this attack to match 9/11 in scale.

Please scroll down to my 6/27 post.

We are still not safe. Safer, maybe. But not safe.

These monsters must be pursued and destroyed. Islamists Delenda Est.

News story out saying that Scotland Yard...

warned the Israeli Embassy a few minutes prior to the attacks. How soon before some idiot says this shows that the Jews are responsible? (Just like they still do here...)

People used to say the the numbers 9/11...

meant something to moslems. I wonder what to make of 7/7?

Does Michael Jackson....

Work at a summer camp around here?

July 7, 2005 -- A 14-year-old boy set fire to his family's Bronx home and then shot himself to death yesterday after fighting with his father — because he didn't want to go back to summer camp, authorities said.
Tariq Samuels first exchanged angry words with his dad at the Vyse Avenue house in the Crotona Park East section — which the family uses on weekends — then walked out and torched the family SUV, which was parked nearby, authorities said.

Later on, after his father, Fitzroy Samuels, left the three-story brick house, Tariq returned and removed the batteries from several smoke detectors, cops said.

Tariq didn't want to harm the family dog, so he tied the Rottweiler to a pole in the backyard.

He then poured gasoline in a closet in his room and around his parents' bedroom, tossed paint thinner in the hall and lit a match.

Once the house was in flames, Tariq shot himself in the head with a .38-caliber revolver.

Carl Edwards, 56, who lives on the second floor, said he ran outside and saw gasoline on the stairway carpet.



Edwards said the family, who are immigrants from Jamaica, usually stay at a home in Harlem.

Firefighters doused the flames, but by the time they pulled Tariq out, he was dead.

Police said Tariq had gone to camp after completing eighth grade last month, but wanted to stay home for the rest of the summer. He had complained that his father was "too strict," a police source said.

"The bombs bursting in....

The London transit system"

Hmmmmmmmm. Must be Christian extremists protesting W's stance on stem cell research.

Or something?

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy Birthday!

As I sit and listen to the bombs bursting in air this Independence Eve, I can't help but hope for many more years of health for this nation, mankind's last best hope.

Amen.